YEARNING FOR PATERNAL LOVE

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Sagarika* belonged to a family of eight that included her parents and five siblings. The three girls including Sagarika spent their days in Child Development Centres and the boys resided with their parents. The two elder sons went to school while the youngest remained at home. 

Each day dawned with new challenges and Sagarika’s mother walked on the streets to sell camphor balls, with her youngest son wrapped in her arms. She went begging since what she earned was insufficient to feed her family. Sagarika’s father was a drug addict and did not engage in any livelihood. He even spent the meagre sum that Sagarika’s mother earned on drugs. They all lived in a small compartment in Sagarika’s paternal grandparent’s house. The parents’ financial hardships and their economic instability resulted in their failure to fulfill their responsibilities towards the children.

The National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) officials identified critical issues concerning 11-year-old Sagarika who was placed in a Child Development Centre which came under the purview of the authority. The NCPA requested that LEADS provides counselling for Sagarika and LEADS’ mental health practitioners physically visited the Child Development Centre to reach out to Sagarika. 

When LEADS visited Sagarika, she showed expressions of weariness. She expressed that she had not met her parents for nearly 2 years. The parents barely cared to phone her or follow up on her wellbeing. This affected her self-esteem and created a feeling of anguish and misery. Even the residential matrons have been very impolite towards her and not been able to understand the vexed feelings and mixed emotions Sagarika experienced. It was revealed to LEADS’ staff that the issues she faced throughout had been the reasons behind her ill-mannered behaviour. 

Her search for eternal love and the absence of motherly care were deeply felt as she was trapped with the walls of the Child Development Centre. The feeling of loneliness was combined with the constant agitation she faced at the hands of the residential matrons. This situation shattered her further in to a million pieces. The bullying she faced at the hands of her peers amplified her mental torment. LEADS provided counselling to help Sagarika overcome this trauma.

Further, LEADS’ staff made a great effort to connect with Sagarika’s mother. It was difficult to talk to her as she would not be at home every time the LEADS’ team visited. Though it took a great effort, LEADS met with her and inquired the reasons of her negligence. She was silent when LEADS questioned as to why she was boycotting the court sessions at the children’s magistrate court. Despite this, she was advised regarding the importance of parenting and informed about the distressing situation Sagarika was undergoing at the time. 

LEADS understood that she too was in a very helpless and a vulnerable situation. The burden of fending for the family and meeting the needs of her children all fell upon her shoulders. Finally, she agreed to visit the child realising how imperative it is for her to attend the court sessions. 

LEADS provided the mother with the necessary leverage through the magistrate to meet Sagarika. This meeting greatly relieved Sagarika from her mental torment. Necessary action through the probation officers were taken to ensure that the child spent time with her parents during school holidays and was sent back to the Child Development Centre when school resumed. 

This also minimised the strained relationship Sagarika had with her other siblings The counselling session had a colossal impact on strengthening the family relations. All these positive factors gradually wiped out her mental depression and as a result, all her skills and talents resurfaced. She showed exceptional talents in both academics and sports. Sagarika was soon recognised as a talented child in school and at the Child Development Centre.

LEADS visited and provided the family with advice and counselling services regularly. During the course of care, Sagarika’s mother was provided necessary advice and guidance in family planning in the interest of her health, as she had six children already. Her father was determined to give-up on his addiction for drugs; therefore, an officer was assigned to assist him on the matter. LEADS staff constantly counselled the family on issues pertaining to their financial circumstances and other matters, while at the same time ensuring that they fulfill their responsibilities as parents.

*The name of the child has been changed to protect her identity.

එකොළොස් හැවිරිදි සාගරිකා අපට මුණගැසුණේ ඇයගේ ගැටලු සහගත හැසිරීම් හේතුවෙන් උපදේශනය සඳහා ඈ විසූ ළමා සංවර්ධන මධ්‍යස්ථානයට ගිය මොහොතේදීය.

ඇය තම සොයුරියන් දෙදෙනා හා ළමා නිවාස භාරයෙහි පසුවෙද්දී ඇයගේ නිවසේ සිටියේ මව පියා සහ සොහොයුරන් තිදෙනා පමණි. පවුලේ සියලු බර කරට ගත් සාගරිකාගේ මව තම පුතුන් තිදෙනාගේ මෙන්ම මතට ඇබ්බැහි වී සිටි සැමියාගේ අවශ්‍යතා සපුරාලීමට සිඟමන් යදිමින් කපුරුබෝල විකුණන්නට යෙදුණේ  බාල පුතු ද ඇකයෙහි හොවා ගෙන ය.

දෙවසරක් ඉක්මවූනද අවම වශයෙන් දෙමව්පියන්ගෙන් දුරකථන ඇමතුමක් හෝ නොවීමෙන් සාගරිකා පසුවූයේ සිත්තැවුලෙනි. නිවාස පාලිකාවන්ගේ රළු වදන් මෙන්ම සෙසු දරුවන්ගේ උසුළු විසුළු, ඇය වඩාත් තැවුලට පත් කරලීමට හේතු වූයෙන් එම තත්ත්වයෙන් මිදීමට අඛණ්ඩව උපදේශනය ලබා දුන්නෙමු.

දැඩි උත්සාහයක් දැරීමෙන් පසු සාගරිකාගේ මව මුණගැසීමට අපට අවකාශය ලැබුණි. තම දියණියන් බැලීමට යාම හා අධිකරණයේ ඇති නඩුවට පෙනී සිටීමේ අවශ්‍යතාවය ඇයට අවධාරණය කරලීමට අපට හැකිවිණි. ඒ අනුව පළමු වරට ඇය තම දියණියන් බලන්නට ඔවුන් විසූ ළමා සංවර්ධන මධ්‍යස්ථානයට ගිය අතර බොහෝ කලකට පසු තම මව දැකගන්නට ලැබුණු දියණියන් තුළ ඇති වූ ප්‍රීතිය ඔවුන්ගේ මානසික පීඩනය සමනය කර වීමට හේතුවිනි. 

පවුලක් ලෙස ඔවුනොවුන් අතර බැඳීමෙහි වටිනාකම අවබෝධ කර ගන්නට මෙන්ම සහෝදරියන් තිදෙනා අතර පැවති ගැටුම් අවම වීමට ද උපදේශන සේවාව ඉවහල්විය. 

සාගරිකා තුළ වූ හැකියාවන් කෙමෙන් ඉස්මතු වන්නට වූයෙන් ඇය විවිධ අංශයන්ගෙන් පාසල තුල මෙන්ම ළමා නිවහන තුළද කැපී පෙනෙන දැරියක වූවාය.

දරුවන් 6 දෙනෙකු බිහි කර සිටි ඇගේ මවගේ දුර්වල සෞඛ්‍ය තත්ත්වය හේතුවෙන් පවුල් සැලසුම්කරණයේ වැදගත්කම ගැන ඇයව දැනුවත් කළ අතර මතට ඇබ්බැහි වී සිටි පියා හට ඉන් මිදීමට ලබාදුන් උපදෙස් ප්‍රතිඵලදායි විය.

අභියෝග හමුවේ වුවද දෙමව්පියන් වශයෙන් තම දරුවන් පිළිබඳව පවත්නා වගකීම් පැහැර නොහැරිය යුතු බවට උපදෙස් දෙමින් ඔවුන්ට සැපයූ අත්වැල සාගරිකාගේ පවුලට සාර්ථකත්වයට පිවිසෙන්නට ආලෝකයක් විණි.

11 வயதான சாகரிக்காவின் நடத்தையில் ஏற்பட்ட சில மாற்றங்கள் காரணமாக அவர் உளவள ஆலோசனைக்காக சிறுவர் அபிவிருத்தி நிலையத்திற்குச் சென்ற வேளையிலேயே நாம் அவரைச் சந்தித்தோம். சாகரிக்கா தனது இரண்டு சகோதரிகளுடன் சிறுவர் இல்லத்தில் வாழ்ந்து வருகையில், அவரது தாயோ தனது மூன்று புதல்வர்களுடனும், மதுபானத்திற்கு அடிமையான கணவருடனும் வசித்து வந்தார். தாய் தனது வருமானத்திற்காக இளைய மகனைத் தனது நெஞ்சோடு அணைத்த வண்ணம் பிச்சை எடுக்கும் தொழிலில் ஈடுபட்டு வந்தார். 

இரண்டு வருடங்களாக தொலைபேசி ஊடாகக் கூட தனது தாய் தன்னோடு தொடர்பு கொள்ளாததால் சாகரிக்கா மிகுந்த மன வேதனையுடன் காணப்பட்டார். அவர் தனது தாய் மீது மிகுந்த பாசத்தைக் கொண்டிருந்ததோடு தாய்ப் பாசத்திற்காக ஏங்கினார். இதனைப் பற்றி அறியாத சிறுவர் இல்லத்தில் பணியாற்றியவர்களின் கடுமையான வார்த்தைகளும் சாகரிக்காவோடு இல்லத்தில் இருந்த ஏனைய சிறுமியரின் கிண்டலும் அவளது மனவேதனையை மேலும் அதிகரிக்கச் செய்தது. இந்நிலையில் இருந்து அவளை விடுவிப்பதற்காக தொடர்ச்சியாக உளவள ஆலோசனை வழங்கப்பட்டு வந்தது. 

உளவள ஆலோசனை வழங்கியதோடு மாத்திரம் நின்று விடாமல் சாகரிக்காவின் தாயை எவ்வாறாவது அழைத்து வருவதற்கான முயற்சிகள் எடுக்கப்பட்ட போதிலும் அவரைத் தேடிச் செல்லும் சந்தர்ப்பங்களில் எல்லாம் அவர் பிச்சை எடுப்பதற்காக சென்றிருந்ததால் சந்திக்க முடியவில்லை. தொடர்ச்சியான முயற்சியின் விளiவாக ஒரு நாள் அவரைச் சந்திக்கும் வாய்ப்பு கிட்டிய போது சாகரிக்காவையும் அவளது சகோதரிகளையும் சிறுவர் இல்லத்திற்குச் சென்று பாhக்கும் படியும் சிறுவர் நீதிமன்றத்தில் அவருக்கு எதிராகத் தொடுக்கப்பட்டுள்ள வழக்கிற்கு சமுகமளிக்குமாறும் வலியுறுத்திக் கூறப்பட்டது. இதன் விளைவாக அவர் தனது பிள்ளைகளைப் பார்ப்பதற்கு சிறுவர் இல்லத்திற்கு வந்தார். 

ஆறு பிள்ளைகளைப் பெற்ற தாயாக விளங்கியமையால் அவரது உடல் ஆரோக்கியம் மிகவும் மோசமான நிலையில் காணப்பட்டது. எனவே அவருக்கு குடும்பக்கட்டுப்பாடு செய்து கொள்ளுமாறு ஆலோசனை வழங்கப்பட்டதோடு மதுவிற்கு அடிமையாகி இருந்த அவரது கணவருக்கும் உளவள ஆலேசனை வழங்கப்பட்டது. அவர்கள் இருவருக்கும் வழங்கிய ஆலோசனைகளுக்கு நல்ல பலன் கிடைத்துள்ளது.  

சுவால்களுக்கு மத்தியில் கூட பெற்றோர் தமது பிள்ளைகளுக்கு செய்ய வேண்டிய கடமைகளைச் செய்வதன் முக்கியத்துவத்தை அவர்களுக்கு எடுத்துக் கூறியதற்கான வெற்றிகரமான முடிவினைப் பெறக் கூடியதாக இருந்தது.

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